Monday, 24 November 2014

Feelings untold

Hello World!

          Its me again, surprise! how to tell you guys, today, I would like to share a story, or some feelings that should be told, but not. In a simple word. Heart. O M G, I said it. Heart, a mysterious organ in our body that can stop a brain from working. True, my brain suddenly stop when I saw someone that I like. uwwww~ mystery. Stop it, am nervous writing this down. Before I get to the good stuff, let me share something, for this past weeks. I've been working with the Communication Corporate Unit at UiTM Machang as Skim Khidmat Pelajar. Not so much money from it, but I will survive. So, my life is kind of busy with this work. Always doing overtime and what do people call it, outstation is it? kind of exhausting. But that doesn't mean that I'm not having fun with it. I did, it teaches me lots of things, life, work and social skill or my public relation. I learn to talk more and read more. lol. This is just something to get my mind of something or someone.

Okay, lets get to the best part. Yesterday, I was looking through my facebook, and you know what I found. My first crush, I was like. whaaaaaa, why did I like you before? um. Thank God, it was just a crush. Lol. and looking back at my past, I did not do much of this confessing stuff with the girls that I like. Some part of me regret of not saying anything and some part of me were so happy, because it teaches me to be me. Not to be someone that the person want. Live your life. Even right now I haven't said a thing to that little bird, even though I liked her so much. But, come on, with me right now, a person who has nothing, who cant even imagine his future. That would be a waste of time, let me finish my study, got a great job, and then I come to that little bird. The heart knows what the heart wants.

Before this, I talked to my father, for almost 30mins, I rarely talked to my father on the phone, but this one conversation, we talked about marriage, he does agree with me getting married at a young age, but somehow. You know yourself better than others. With this self esteem, I wouldn't think about marriage. I said to my father, let me get a secure job, a house and a car. By that time, I don't know how old I would be. And don't fly away little bird. when I put it that way. I have to do things fast.

Because, in the end, you will end up telling the stuff that is untold. Somehow, people will know, even though you hide it for a long time. It will show, on your smile, on your reaction, on your eyes. It can't lie you know. Our heart control the whole thing by that time. If you think on going to further relationship, do tell. If you think that you still have the hicups, just stay there. Hang on. You're not lost, you're on your way. Just a long road, slow but safe.

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

A comfortable prison

Hello world!

     I'm trying to keep up with this writing and telling someone about my life. While I was walking alone, and being alone. As usual, I kept thinking to myself that, as a 21 years old guy, am I truly have the freedom to live? Well, somehow, I kept thinking to myself that I have the freedom that I need, that is no parents here who can tell me what I can and can't do. But, this freedom ain't the freedom that I need.

Let me explain in a long term. Okay, you wake up every morning at average time of 10am - 12pm. and going to class and stuff. You'll be having your lunch before 2, going back to your University. chat with friends or go back to class, at the evening, you'll spend most of your time with your friends. Before Magrib, you'll be at your room. After Ishak, you'll be going out to have you dinner. You will be back at your room before 11pm. By that time you will soon realize that our life is like a recycle. Get it? We're actually a prisoner in a prison without bars. We kept on searching for life. But, we're not actually living in it. Too busy doing this and that. But this is the kind of prison that I want to live in. Because, somehow appreciate life is not easy for someone.

People kept on saying that life is unfair. The truth is life is fair, because it is unfair for everyone. The prison that were living in is a comfort zone. I've been living in it for almost 4 years, I became really comfortable with this place. Failure are part of life. I tell you that, because if you don't fail, you don't learn but if you don't learn, you will never change. That's something. The truth is that, we have to jump out of our comfort zone, there's a dream zone out there, soon I will be walking out of this comfort zone, and will be on my way to the dream zone. Soon. Because I know, there's a lot of jails without bars out there, I just have to find the right one.

If you fell down yesterday, Stand up Today